UPDATE: The party is over, sorry if you missed it! Thank you to everyone who placed an order — we managed to generate a not insignificant commission for my friend. At least enough to allow her to partake of a pint or two. You all are awesome and I hope you enjoy your new instruments of torture toys of a culinary nature.
I have a friend — let’s call her Diane, because that’s her name — who is planning a trip for next summer. Diane is going to Ireland. I can’t remember exactly WHY she’s going to Ireland, because I have the attention span of a fruit fly, but I’m sure it’s for some properly edifying reason. Probably it’s not to hang out at pubs, drinking whisky and picking up gorgeous charming guys with lovely Irish accents. I mean, just because that’s what I’d do if I went to Ireland doesn’t mean that’s what she has planned.
Anyway, my friend is a teacher (a professor, actually) and an avid reader, and so of course she has a supplemental, if inconsistent, source of income. How else is she going to supply her book habit?
Diane is a consultant for Pampered Chef, which means she earns a commission if she convinces people to have parties and invite other people to attend and spend money on really cool kitchen gadgetry. Hey, beats being a paid assassin. Results in far less jail time. And gore.
I wholeheartedly support this concept of going off to Ireland to have an adventure, especially since I’m convinced all the men over there are single and look like Pierce Brosnan.
So I offered to host a party to help her out. And also because she assured me I could do the entire thing online and wouldn’t even have to get dressed or talk to people in real life.
Now, I know, if you have a kitchen, you’re thinking you already have all the kitchen things you could ever need, and then some. So do I. But just look at some of this stuff. I bet you don’t have one of these:
You don’t even know what that is, do you? Neither did I. It’s a stoneware microwave egg cooker. This is pure genius. I want one.
I bet you don’t have these, either:
Those are something called microwave grips. Great for removing hot stuff from the microwave without burning yourself.
And I know you don’t have these:
OK, you might have the citrus peeler. I remember my mom had one and it was pretty useful. The other tube-like thing is a garlic peeler and I used to have one but then I made the mistake of showing it to my daughter the last time she was home and she said, “That is SO cool!” and now . . . I no longer have one (it’s OK, I told her she could take it).
Or maybe you know someone who really needs a set of these:
They look like the things my mom used to twist up into my grandma’s hair back when she’d give her a home perm, but they’re actually clips for holding things shut. Although I guess you could put them in your hair.
And now you’re curious, aren’t you? What other gadgets are you missing out on? Well, here’s the link to the website. Click on the tab in the corner that says “shop online” and when prompted, enter my name as the host: “KD” for the first name and “James” for the last.
Full disclosure: Apparently, I get some free stuff for being a host. Not sure what, exactly, but something. I’m thinking I might invite gorgeous Irishmen random people over to my house and force them to [redacted] ask them to use this free stuff to cook for me.
So, go take a look around. You’ve got about ten days before the party’s over. Pace yourself. Shop early and often. There’s a ton of stuff: cookware and bakeware and stoneware and bamboo and cutlery and knives and cookbooks and spices and rubs and oil infusions. They also have drink mixes: Lemon Drop Martini, Appletini, Margarita, Strawberry Daiquiri . . . yum.
There’s even non-mysterious stuff, like these placemats. Seriously, placemats are not mysterious. Not even a little:
Really, if you can’t find something over there that you didn’t realize you didn’t have but now suddenly need . . . well, you’re just not trying. Or you don’t have a kitchen. Maybe not even a stomach. Poor baby.
Or perhaps you just don’t have room in your budget for extras. I certainly know that feeling. So be devious helpful and send the link to this post to a friend or two. Maybe they’ll invite you over sometime to check out their new toys. Hey, they might even feed you.
Seriously, it would be awesome if you could pitch in and help my friend earn a few bucks to cover some of the incidentals of international travel. I’m going to work on convincing her those incidentals should include that whole pub/whisky/flirting thing.
What would you put on your list of “things to do” if you ever were to travel to Ireland?
KD James 