Forgive me, for it has been two months since my last blog post . . .
I feel like this is a confession and I’m not even Catholic. Okay, yes, I do feel a wee bit guilty for neglecting my blog for so long. I think this is the longest I’ve gone in the past almost four years without writing a post. But I’ve been busy. I also really needed a break.
Normally, it’s my job to worry. I’m a mother and I’m very good at worrying. About everything. And even nothing. But every once in a while, all the other people in my life get to worrying about things and then it becomes my job to reassure them. To say things like, “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay.” And, “Chill, everything will be fine.” This does not come naturally for me. And frankly, it’s exhausting.
Mostly it has been my daughter doing the worrying: first about studying and finals, then about graduation, then packing up and moving home, then finding a place to put all her belongings, and then packing half of it up again to go to New Orleans and points west. Not to mention job worries and the overwhelming “what am I going to do in the fall” worry. But there have also been other family members worrying about various things. And co-workers and friends worrying about things. Some trivial things, but also some pretty serious things.
For some odd reason, maybe because I’m so very good at worrying, they have turned to me for reassurance. As much as I want to say, “Yes, of course you should be worried! I’m sure the world is about to end!” I don’t. Well, I try not to. This is completely out of character for me and it drains my energy.
But now everything seems to have gone back to a somewhat normal state. Not sure people have stopped worrying, they’ve just stopped expecting me to do something about it. Either that or my eyes glazed over one too many times and they finally realized I was useless.
So now I can get back to worrying. As usual, my daughter is the primary source of worry. She and her boyfriend have set out on a two and a half month 5500-mile driving/camping/hiking trek of the Western Wilderness. Where there are bears. Other animals, too, but mostly BEARS.
Here are a few pictures my daughter took recently of wild animals in their natural habitat, including a map of where they plan to seek out more wildlife. And bears:
If they have cell phone reception, she calls and sends text messages, telling me where they are and what they’re doing. So I won’t worry. She promises that if she gets eaten by a bear, she will call me. As I write this, they’re in Wyoming in Grand Teton National Park. She called yesterday to tell me they were hiking back down to camp after watching the sun set over a mountain lake and on the trail ahead of them they saw a Big Black BEAR. It did not see them. So, you know, no need to worry.
But damn. I’m so good at it.