Confusion or Collusion?

Some of you reading this know I love a good conspiracy. I love to imagine “what if” and at the same time imagine “what if all is not as it seems.” I find that kind of speculation to be fascinating. But do I really believe in conspiracies or that people are actively engaging in perpetrating conspiracies? In general, no. Most people don’t have enough time or energy or deviousness in their character to create and carry out a good conspiracy. I just think it’s entertaining to speculate.

However. You knew that was coming, didn’t you? I’ve been getting these weird emails for a while now and something about them pokes at the part of my imagination that loves a good conspiracy. And I’ve been wondering “what if.” On the face of it, they all are a vehicle for selling something — usually “enhancements” of an extremely personal nature. They’re junk mail. But they all contain an incomprehensible message at the end that has nothing to do with the product being sold. And that makes me wonder. Are they just a really bad example of non-English-speaking persons trying to communicate? Or is something else going on here?

Here are a few examples that I’ve received just in the past week, copied verbatim with no changes made:

Example 1:

To destruction. All these, when the end of the eat the shashtika
paddy mixed with milk. By so her in yourself, macleod, said
that properly constituted had thought to for a time the
tempter left her, called adhyudha.302 the son born of a
maiden in followed by every believer, and prepared to spend
sakra himself,thus addressed, govinda greeted for i longed
so to throw my arms about you before or wandering about
the housealways within call. Crowned with ascetic success,
and gifted with with great might and wellpractised in all
weapons. Be regarded as better than the (other) classes,
having been warned by jack mount that they considered is
prince’s shaft…. We go round here behind having said this,
the fairhipped krishna with.

Example 2:

Speech oh, well. I hope everything’ll go all right. Of the
plague, that the cultivation of a country, the floating
capital is absorbed in the provinces nest. Only the sun,
majestic in power, shining commission men which it is their
business to look in the jungle, that no money in the world
would madelon! He held out his hands towards her like isolated
here all his receptive years have i found the doctor, that
no girl is worth anything till after what had happened.
but she looked straight men which may appear. It is a thousand
pities brazil. A. Henry savagelandor. Savoy hotel, london.
big as a charger, and set an edge about it as intently.
obrien went on: you will have heard tell.’ she gave a quick
glance over her shoulder..

Example 3:

Florida, dakota, iowa, wyoming, minnesota, and made his way
to the his reception was immediate had much chance, with
the girl at him all the she states that as she left the
room mrs. Fortescue a good turnthat ^ if you are interested
in racing. Of it, and they have to i saw a good many flaws
when he came there. That was now several years hand, to
fetch, no doubt, more of the chosen to does no good. One
can’t foresee. Reconstruction think you are right. So, then,
why was the screen involved to hope any immediate rescue
from them. But then, of course, the railway gui& might have
longing of the people and as chairman of the committee time.
and then there were a hundred and one little not to be,
at least in anstruther and the subject.

So, you tell me. Spam email full of nonsense? Or coded messages as part of a conspiracy?


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6 responses to “Confusion or Collusion?

  1. Merry

    Damn but that beats the kind of spam I get. Not one offer of a senile enhancement kit in the lot.

    Perchance your…um, freelance collaboraters… were born under a rhyming star?

    gpaat – well, what would /you/ cry if you were born under a star that was busy rhyming?


  2. Theresa

    Sorry to burst your conspiracy bubble, BCB, but these bits of nonsense are being automatically generated to try to fool spam block software. :+)


  3. BCB

    Aha! I knew it. It’s a conspiracy of computers. It’s only a matter of time before they rule the world. Especially if we all start buying products to enhance our senility.

    Is this what they mean by Deus ex machina?


  4. me

    If a million spam computers randomly generate spam for a million years, they will eventually write the works of Shakespeare.

    Either that, or I need to buy a hard hat and hide under the bed.


  5. McB

    I’m going to have to start opening my spam emails if they’re really that entertaining.

    Conspiracy theories are very seductive. And you know, just because you’re paranoid about your spam doesn’t mean it isn’t a conspiracy. In fact…

    It’s actually a keycode type of thing. A particular sequence of these emails being opened seemingly at random by innocent internet users. When the right sequence of opened spam is reached it triggers a reaction that is nearly impossible to stop because the very randomness makes it virtually impossible to trace back to the source. Diabolical, that’s what it is.

    Why yes, I am sleep deprived again, why do you ask?

    qzolemoy: remember that word, it’s the clue to solving the riddle and saving the world.


  6. BCB

    Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m not an innocent internet user engaging in random acts. 😉

    And ME, if you decide to hide, just be sure you don’t let your computer know where you’re goi– uh oh. Too late.