A friend told me recently she’d like to spend a day in my head. Now there’s a scary thought. Once I stopped laughing I told her certainly she had better things to do and she said yeah, but it would be an interesting experience. Not really. But since I can’t think up anything else to write, here you go R, this one is for you.
You can’t have a whole day, that would be cruel, and I left out all the really nasty swear words (I am not a nice person first thing in the morning) but this is what was in my head for about 15 minutes Tuesday morning after I got out of bed and was heading down the stairs and through the family room on the way to the kitchen:
…where the hell is the dog Quinc– that’s right he’s not here this week at least I won’t get ambushed on the stairs god that knee is sore this morning someday I’m going to have to get it replaced won’t that be fun there is no way I can take that much time off w– hi kitty, what are you so frisky about so now I find out my protagonist has a negative goal and that’s harder to write like I needed to know that thank you oh there’s that library book I need to return that today why is it so cold down here I’m going to need to wear a sweater today did I pay the car insurance I’m pretty sure I washed the red one I suppose I could wear it with the charcoal pants because the black ones are dirty OH MY GOD is that a mouse oh kitty that wasn’t nice poor baby what were you thinking you should know not to come in here where the cat will get you maybe if I made the protag the antag then she would have a positive goal but no that won’t work that’s stupid [meow] yes kitty it’s a lovely mouse thank you at least there’s no blood this time [meow] no it isn’t going to play anymore “oh nay nay” as John P-something would say my god that man is funny why can’t I remember his name [meow] it’s dead yes I’m sure how do people get up in front of an audience and do that wow this concrete is cold I should have put shoes on before I came out here I really need to sweep the rest of these leaves out of the garage maybe someday if I ever get home before dark I’ll do that I wonder whether the chapter has 1099 reporting responsibility I’d better email L about that because that deadline is coming up yes kitty the mouse is all gone I can’t believe that guy was Jack’s brother god wouldn’t it be fun to write characters like th– well duh [meow] not like there’s anything stopping you is there I need to stop stacking the mail on the kitchen table so I wouldn’t have to look at it first thing every morning god that’s annoying oh hell I forgot to buy contact solution yesterday well won’t that be interesting [meowww] yes I know you’re hungry, thank you for not eating the mouse [MEOW] let me wash my hands I need to remember to run the dishwasher before I go to work at least I don’t have to wonder anymore whether to kill off that character since it’s [MER-OWWWL] can you SEE me opening this can here a really bad idea to do that to your protag good thing I realized that’s who she was before it was too late here you go kitty knock yourself out my sister said she’d call me this weekend and she didn’t I hope she’s ok god it’s cold in here that picture she sent me of the dog in the sink was hilarious oh well the gas bill is going to be outrageous anyway it always is this time of year maybe there’s some contact solution in the kids’ bathroom I guess I have to stop at the store after work but I need to go to the library and damn they’re in opposite directions I need to work on that financial statement tonight maybe we didn’t pay anyone more than 600 dollars last year but I bet we did here’s some fresh water kitty what date is that book signing next month I didn’t write it on the calendar but I’m so excited SEP is coming Quincy would never eat a mouse would he oh gross no he wouldn’t I’m sure he wouldn’t I’ll wear the yellow sweater it looks better with those pants he always licks my hands when I come home no that’s too gross I have to remember to check the printer settings before I do the W2s because the new computer is just a tad bit off and there isn’t much room for error on those forms maybe I can just order a pizza for dinner no wait I have stuff in the freezer thank god because I’m not going to want to cook I can already tell why is a negative goal harder to write damn it I don’t need harder goals I need to finish the book I wonder how much it would cost to rent a place at the beach for a long weekend I could throw some stuff in the car and be there in less than two hours I bet it wouldn’t be that much this time of year did I pay my RWA dues yet I don’t think I did too bad I couldn’t get away until maybe June and then it will cost a fortune so maybe that’s a bad idea since I haven’t decided whether to go to Dallas I wonder whether DS is coming home for his sister’s birthday this weekend maybe I should call to remind him so big deal it’s a hard goal I can do hard this is not a problem I wonder whether I have all the ingredients for that cake…
And then I ate breakfast.
Of course, all this was before caffeine. Things usually pick up a bit and get more interesting after that, thank god. As a matter of fact, once the other voices wake up and join in, it becomes downright entertaining.
You’ll just have to wait for the book to see what they have to say.